An open invitation to all Grammar Nazis

I'd really like to expunge any lingering errors from my writing, but I don't know which errors I'm making because I learned to write mostly by reading and not by studying the rules of English.  If I'm going to improve I need other people to help me by pointing out the errors that I make so I can learn to stop making them.

So, Grammar Nazis of the world, welcome!  Please nitpick my errors in grammar, mechanics, and usage.  If you notice that something I've written is unclear or too wordy, please feel free to criticize that as well.   Any level of help will be appreciated, from pointing out errors to correcting them to naming the rule or principle violated.  You can comment on the post containing the error or email me at , whichever is more convenient for you.

Also, if you know other people who enjoy pointing out others' language errors but don't find many opportunities to practice their hobby without irritating the people they're trying to help, please send them my way!  I will welcome and appreciate them here!

Thank you!!!

Update: The blog posts, other web content, articles, and books I aspire to write will be primarily practical non-fiction that explains, analyzes, instructs, or advises.  I have no desire to write fiction, poetry, or "creative nonfiction".  If that makes a difference in the advice you would give, please keep it in mind.  Thanks!

Comments

[Scorpius]

Well, bolding and underlining to emphasize isn't exactly Kosher; but that's just the foot talking.

[RFJason]

Two words: Strunk & White.

[Nat Almirall]

Strunk & White are good, but they're overrated. Seriously, the best writing is whatever gets your point across, so focus on that and to Hell with grammatical perfection.

But, since you asked, here goes: If I were paying you for this entry, I'd rewrite the first sentence to read, "I want to write clearly": That whittles down 11 words into five and gets your point across with honesty and conviction.

Outside of that, I wouldn't change much else, maybe a few things in the third paragraph; your comma placement and use of apostrophe is excellent.

You're a very good writer, and you come across as both witty and smart. If you want to write professionally, focus more on what you have to say.

P.S. Scorpius is right: Underlining isn't kosher; it's an instruction to the typesetter to use italics.

And "Strunk & White" is two words and an ampersand.

[RFJason]

Strunk & White stormed Normandy, raped Hitler, and brought your mom flowers. Don't say anything bad about Strunk & White. Ever.

[Jacqueline]

My main problem right now is I'm just not confident in my ability to write correctly. Since I never really studied the formal rules of English -- I just sort of picked them up as I went along -- I don't know *why* I write the way I do, I just know that one way "sounds" right and the others don't.

My goal is 100% perfect grammar, mechanics, and usage, and to get to the 95th percentile or so on clarity and style.

[Nat]

You may want to pick up a style guide then. Chicago's good; we use Merriam Webster's Manual for Writers & Editors at work. Stay away from AP.

[Philip Welch]

I think your priorities are slightly backwards, personally ;)

[Jacqueline]

Perfect grammar, usage, and mechanics are achievable (since these are black and white issues), whereas clarity and style are too subjective to be "perfect" at.

[Timothy]

since these are black and white issues

HAH! DOUBLE AND PERHAPS EVEN TRIPLE OR QUADRUPLE HAH!

No, they aren't. A lot of "proper" English rules (such as, say, not splitting infinitives) are hold overs from Latin grammar and imposed on English at the turn of the 20th century with the publication of formalized dictionaries. The Oxford comma is another grey area. The spelling of the word "grey" is another gray issue. So is placement of punctuation for partial quotations at the end of a sentence (inside or outside the quote marks). Rules for how to refer to a single person of no specific gender - I prefer "he or she" - some style books suggest just varying usage every paragraph, some people like "s/he". I can tell you that "they" is not singular and runs you into a subject/verb agreement issue, but that's about as far as I'm willing to go.

Get Strunk & White, but keep in mind that a lot of issues come down to style preference.

[Jacqueline]

I looked up the Oxford comma. The Wikipedia article about serial commas contains the hilarious example of the ambiguity caused by leaving it out and punctuating a book dedication, "To my parents, Ayn Rand and God."

[Philip Welch]

That's a classic example, Jacqueline!

I'm with Timothy.

Except I go further. "They" is singular, and the Wikipedia article on "singular they" says it's not a recent invention either—it's attested in Shakespeare.

Nobody, with the exception of schoolchildren and the self-conscious, actually keeps usage rules in their conscious mind all that much. Any linguist would say that your writing is (except for certain drunken counterexamples) perfectly understood as standard professional English.

I, for one, don't worry about these issues not because I was well raised and educated (I was, and I even learned how to diagram sentences!) but because I've internalized the usage rules I want. And as Timothy says, there's dispute about a whole mess of them. Luckily, I have very good arguments for most of my usage conventions and refuse to change them. I'm an intransigent user of the Oxford comma and a militant user of the singular "they".

[maurile]

Please nit-pick my errors in grammar, mechanics, and usage.

"Nitpick" should not be hyphenated. ;)

You may find subscribing to Bryan Garner's Usage Tip of the Day worthwhile.

[Timothy]

You and your singular they can go to hell, Welch!

Seriously, though, when I was in college I had many a drunken, screaming fight with my editor (and later, my writers) over comma placement. Oxford comma - I use it sometimes when I think it will make a difference for sentence flow, but otherwise leave it out.

Also, in my first post "hold overs" should be "hold-overs" as it's a compound modifier.

[Timothy]

Oh, book suggestion time. Eats, Shoots, and Leaves. It is, firstly, hilarious and, secondly, pretty informative about various rules.

[grant]

Eats, Shoots, and Leaves is one of the most inane and boring grammar books I've ever read. That's quite a feat, considering the topic.

I would suggest you read Stephen King's On Writing. Basically, he suggests you sharpen your tools (like grammar, vocabulary, editing) and then develop your own personal style by selectively violating the rules.

People are going to give you a million conflicting ideas about correct writing. Correct writing doesn't exist any more than correct speech exists; If you are correct by one book you'll be incorrect by many others.

Think about this: If it were possibly to write in a provably correct manner, Word spell check would work because the guys who write it know about validating grammars.

[Jacqueline]

Well, I would at least like to get to the point where I am consciously choosing one usage convention over another instead of just randomly using whatever I picked up along the way.

[Shawn Levasseur]

I'm of two minds on the subject.

First, I praise the pursuit of better grammar. Clarity and comprehension are improved by writing well.

On the other hand, you don't want to get too obsessive about it. So long as you achieve that elusive clarity and comprehension in your communication with the reader, you should be fine.

As with any skill, practice helps. The more regularly you write the more you improve. So keep writing regularly. (This is a shameless plea to keep you from going on another blogging hiatus)

I let my public speaking skills lapse, along with my Toastmasters membership, and well... Did you watch the C-Span coverage of the LP Convention? Did you see the dope who announced the vote totals from Maine, stumbling over his own words? That would be me.

I agree with the recommendation of Steven King's "On Writing". It isn't really as useful for bloggers or non-fiction writers as it would be for fiction writers. However, it is a great book, half autobiography, half about his best practices and advice to writers.

I'm not a big King fan, but I did enjoy that book.

At any rate, King does recommend Strunk & White's Elements of Style. In fact this whole discussion has inspired me to read through it again.